Football fans, crying and A-game hygiene don’t often form an inseparable trio of natural everyday conversation (and that’s not in any way to suggest that football fans are somehow unhygienic, mid-match wee breaks are no doubt the very model of exemplary hand-washing), it’s more that, hand gels and antibacterial wipes aren’t usually the first things on a football fan’s shopping list en-route to their footie match of choice.
And yet now, after a period of prolonged fan absence from football matches, be that in the stadium, pub or round your bessie mates house, these items have now become top billing as absolute pre-match essentials. Plus, there is of course the added advantage of being able to wipe away the residual evidence of a half-time Madras pie from one’s whiskers (ahem, as in moustaches, stubble and beards, not as in those meaty chunks preferred by 8/10 cats...although who knows what’s in those pies?) or from overdoing it on bowls of sugary Haribos...well, you've gotta keep the ol' energy up for the game, right?
But what of crying? Well, this one isn’t quite as far removed from football after-all...for those of us that can remember Paul Gascoigne’s infamous exit from the 1990 World Cup, as immortalised by his eye-jets Spitting Image character, crying is an entirely normal activity befitting the sport’s high and lows. And for those in need of a more modern-day reference, we recently witnessed the entire country of Scotland in floods of tears after their recent qualification to Euro 2020....that, ahem, will now take place in June/July 2021 of course.
And this is to be celebrated, it’s an emotional roller-coaster of a sport, so it’s only natural that such outpourings of emotion occur. It’s also only natural that there will be fair old helping of coughing and spluttering come cold & flu season too (which unhappily coincides perfectly with the domestic football season).
Fear not though football fans, we’ve got your back...or rather your hands, faces and noses (what you do with your back is your own business)...as we can help you wipe away those tears, blow those noses and keep your digits 'n' visogs all squeaky clean, so you can get on with enjoying the game and not have to worry about any such inconvenient distractions.
Game on.
